INFO:

It’s developmentally normal for kids to cling to their parents and caregivers when separating or facing new situations. This is particularly true for children who are wired to be highly sensitive. When this happens it can feel triggering to us as parents. Maybe we are late for work or we are worried about our child (or us) being judged in some way for having this emotional response. Being triggered might lead us to want to shut down our child’s emotions or push our child away to encourage independence. Unfortunately that usually only escalates their terror and clinging or damages their trust in us as a safe haven for them to run to in distress. So what can we do? 1. Remember what it feels like to be that scared and offer our children the empathy and understanding we would want in a moment of panic and clinging. 2. Calm our own bodies so they can borrow calmness and grounding from our emotional state. 3. Hold them and squeeze back instead of pushing them away or prying them off us. 4. Wait until they have calmed in our arms to use logic or problem solving (connect before we direct) 5. Help our child shift their needs to another caregiver or shift their attention to something they enjoy or care about. We want our children to know that we care about what they feel and are capable of helping them feel secure with us. It takes more time but it also builds more trust and long term security and confidence for our child and our relationship with them. Love on.